Monday, September 17, 2007

"The Ten Most Dangerous Mistakes YOU Probably Make With Men-And What To Do About It..."

Here Are The Top Ten Reasons Why Women Keep Themselves From Living The Love Life Of Their Dreams— And How To Make Sure You Avoid Every One Of Them...


MISTAKE #1: Betting Your Love Life on His "Potential"

Do you know any women who want the man they're dating to behave differently?

Of course you do.

And just like me, I'm sure you have friends who date guys who don't have much going for them or who don't treat them very well.

Somehow these women always have an excuse for the guy's shortcomings.

What's going on here?

It's actually very simple.

Women (and men) don't base their choices of men on how "nice" or "good" someone is to them day-to-day.

Women choose the men they do because they feel a powerful GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for them.

And guess what?

Some women will continue to put up with a guy that doesn't treat them very well.

Sometimes for months or years...

But why in the world would a woman do that!?

Well, to put it simply, they confuse the strong attraction they feel for the guy with a deeper "connection".

Women who do this are doomed to end up in failed relationships with the "wrong" guys.

How do I know?

Because I've seen it at least a hundred times...

And because I've been this guy in the past myself.

Thinking back on past dating and relationships I've had, I was selfish and didn't offer much.

I'm amazed the women put up with me.

But they did...all the while hoping that I would somehow change.

The women I dated hoped I'd change.

The only thing they saw in me that led them to want to keep me around was the "potential" they saw in me to share my feelings and communicate with them.

The potential for something better and the potential for me to change and be a better lover, boyfriend, companion or whatever...

The truth was, I was hopelessly bad at these things at the time.

And more importantly, I wasn't even at a place in my life where I knew how to or was interested in developing a deep and committed relationship - with ANYONE.

But deep down these women believed that if they tried hard enough, that it would make up for what was lacking.

They believed that I could become someone else with them.... and that this would be easy for us both.

Talk about a losing battle.

It doesn't make a lot of "logical" sense...

But until you accept that lots of women do this AND that YOU could be doing it on some level, you'll NEVER have the success with men that you choose and want.


MISTAKE #2: Assuming You"Get" Men & Their Psychology

Men are different from women.

You need to accept this fact, and deal with it.

When a woman sees a man, she can very quickly pick apart certain things about his style, body language, status and character that will tell her all kinds of things about him.

Lot's of women don't even consciously see that they do this because the process is so obvious and simple for them.

But does the same apply for men?

As you probably already know, men are generally more visual.

As a result, they often don't understand non-verbal communication as well as women.

And men often lack what women have in emotional awareness and "intuition".

Women don't seem to remember this about men.

So do men feel sexually attracted to w0men based just on looks? Or is something else going on?

Well, after studying this topic for years now, and talking to thousands of men and women, I can tell you that men have their "attraction mechanisms" triggered by things OTHER than looks.

Especially when it comes to longer term relationships.

Looks just happen to be the most obvious way...

But looks are NOT the most powerful.

If you know how to use your body language AND communication correctly, you can make men feel the same kind of powerful sexual attraction to you that YOU feel when you see that hot, great looking guy that you got to know.

But it's not an accident.

You have to LEARN how to do this.

And ANY woman can learn how...


MISTAKE #3: Pretending To Be Something For A Man

In the desire to please a man, women are constantly doing things to get a man's attention, to get him to like them or to make him more attracted or in love with them.

Another HORRIBLE idea.

Lots of women mistakenly think that doing unusual things to try and get a guys attention will make him magically see what a great catch they are and want to be with them.

Wrong.

Men YOU TRULY WANT are never attracted to the types of women who kiss up to them, make weak plays for affection or complain to get what they want... EVER.

Don't get me wrong here. Things like being sexy for a man or encouraging him to share his feelings can be good, but it has to be genuine, unselfish, and most of all timely.

You don't have to act like an "easy" woman for men to like you, and you certainly don't have to play like he's some gift to the Earth.

Doing these things actually works to subtly, at an subconscious level, lower your social status with a man, which has EVERYTHING to do with how he sees you as a woman.

So if you think that making him more attracted to you means "playing to the man's fantasies" from the start, think again.

You'll never succeed by looking for a man's approval, finding your way into his heart through sex and not being yourself.


MISTAKE #4: Sharing How You "Feel" Too Early With Him

Another huge and unfortunate mistake that most women make with men is sharing how they "feel" too early on.

Listen...

Attractive, single, successful men are rare.

They get a LOT of attention from women.

Most women don't realize this, but attractive men are being approached in one way or another all the time by women.

And guess what?

Attractive wen have usually dated a lot of women.

That's right. They have EXPERIENCE.

They know what to expect.

And one thing that turns an attractive men off and sends him running away faster than just about anything...

It's a woman who starts saying "You know, I really, REALLY like you" after one or two dates.

This signals to the man that you're just like one of those "clingy" stereotype women who want to rush into a relationship and can't control yourself from wanting a man to fulfill them and complete their lives.

This does NOT spell ATTRACTION for a man.

Don't do it. Lean back. Relax.

There's a much better way...


MISTAKE #5: Misreading The Important "Signals" That Men Send

Men are constantly communicating how they feel about a woman and giving away big secrets about themselves.

Most women don't pay attention to these signals or recognize them for what they really are.

The signals men send have 4 main levels:

1) Social: Where the man is at in his own life - stability, confidence, direction

2) Emotional: Whether or not he's "emotionally available"

3) Physical: If he's attracted to you... and for what reasons

4) Love State: If he's open to building and growing a relationship in the future


The funny thing is that men send signals in these areas completely on accident.

That's great news to women...

Men can't help it!

You need to learn to recognize these signals to get anywhere serious with a man.


MISTAKE #6: Relying On Your Natural Ability To Judge A Man's Character

People aren't easy to figure out.

Especially men.

The last several years of my life I've spent hundreds of hours learning to understand people.

I've studied peoples behavior, "inner psychology" and more specifically how they think and act when they're dating.

From what I've seen, both men and women have their own secret ways of saying things.

But you can only see these secret communications if you know what to look for.

Women communicate with hints, body language, sarcasm, and flirting when they're first getting to know a man.

They can either directly or indirectly let men know if they're open to something more serious.

Men are different.

Men generally communicate with sarcasm, humor, cockyness and other "indirect" displays of status.

VERY RARELY will a man be able to honestly communicate to a woman whether or not he's ready or capable of developing a meaningful relationship.

Aside from their sexual interests, men send very indirect signals about where they're at.

If you don't know how to read through the signals men send, then you'll get the wrong message.

Getting the wrong messages from men causes women more pain and heartache than any other issue around.

You can avoid this pain if you learn to indentify a good man from a bad one.


MISTAKE #7: Expecting A Relationship To Make You Happy

A mistake I've seen women make is thinking a guy will change her life and make her happy and fulfilled.

And sure, there are situations and relationships where this happens.

But those are the exceptions, not the rule.

Nothing says "Run!" to a man faster than hearing or sensing that a woman immediately wants him to take care of her.

And the men who ARE looking for this kind of situation aren't exactly the most healthy, loving, nurturing people out there.

Think, "controlling, macho, or serious Mom Issues!"

So let me be clear...

I think it's important that people help fulfill each other in their lives, whether it's dating, a relationship, whatever.

But if a woman communicates that she's looking for a guy to take care of her, complete her, make her whole, and all that kind of stuff - it has a VERY negative effect on what the man will think of her.

It doesn't have to be spoken by the woman either...

If a woman thinks or feels this way, the man will see it and pick up on it, regardless.

This is arguably the worst thing a woman can do early on when dating a man.

So what can you do as a woman?

You can get the man interested and involved in your life in a more "natural" way, where he'll be motivated to make you care about your happiness and fulfillment on his own.

This is the only way it really works for people - male or female.

Self-motivation is much stronger than external motivation.

But you have to know how to create this situation with a man... and it rarely happens by accident.


MISTAKE #8: Trying To "Convince" Him To Like You Or Love You

What do most women do when they meet a man that they REALLY like... but he's just not that interested or isn't as serious?

Right! They try to "convince" the man to feel differently.

Well, I have news for you...

YOU WILL NEVER CHANGE HOW A MAN "FEELS" WHEN IT COMES TO ATTRACTION!

Never, ever, ever.

You cannot convince a man to feel differently about you with "logic and reasoning".

Think about it.

If a man doesn't "feel it" for you, how in the world do you expect to change that by being "reasonable" with him?

But we all do it.

Men are the worst at this by the way.

They're always complimenting women who don't like them and buying them gifts.

Women like the behavior sometimes, but it NEVER makes the woman like the man.

She might enjoy what she gets out of it, but it doesn't change the way she FEELS about him.

When a man just isn't interested, women will try and chase, compliment, convince and do their best to change his mind with logical and rational approaches.

Bad idea. Another one that will never work.


MISTAKE #9: Not Knowing What To Do In Each Type Of Situation

A man has a clear idea of what he wants from a woman...

And I don't mean just sex.

I know, it might be hard to believe, but if you're out on a date with a man, he already has an idea of what he wants from you.

And if you don't know HOW to find this out, and you just sit there looking at him and flirting, or trying things you think will make him want you, he won't help!

If you don't know what to do in each situation, you'll probably screw it up... and LOSE EVERYTHING.


MISTAKE #10: Not Getting Help

This is the biggest mistake of all.

This mistake keeps women from EVER having the kind of success and finding the kind of man and relationship that they truly want.

I know, you don't like to make yourself look weak or helpless. We don't like to ask for help.

Hey, I've been there myself.

Let me tell you a little about me.

Over the last few years it's been hard to watch the women around me (even those I dated) struggle to understand the men they were attracted to or dating.

It frustrated the hell out of me and I made the decision to do whatever it took to help the women I knew learn how to be successful with men and dating.

Well, after a lot of hard work and doing all kinds of crazy things to learn the real-world truth about men and women, I finally figured things out for myself.

I've read hundreds of books on psychology, human behavior, dating/relationship advice for men and women, love, attraction, communication, and more. The list goes on.

I can now approach just about any situation with dating and feel confident and understand everything that's going on in an interaction.

Best of all, I've been able to share my knowledge and help women become more successful with men and dating.

It's been a very rewarding experience, and it's how I became fascinated with the female perspective in the dating world.

I've helped women get rid of that sick, insecure feeling... the one you get when you're lonely, you've been hurt or lied to, or when a man you have feelings for says "he's not ready".

You don't have to be afraid you might wind up being lied to, cheated on or that you'll end up alone.

How to Keep Your Girlfriend Happy

Effortless Romantic Tips for Ten Dollars or Less!

Guys, there are a few little things that you can do to drive your girlfriends crazy - whether you've been dating for two weeks or five years. These tips don't involve much cost or effort, and are guaranteed to reap big rewards, whether you're having minor troubles and want to help patch things up - or if you're having no troubles at all, and just want to win the best boyfriend of the year award. Typically, guys aren't romantic by nature, and so women thirst for romance from their boyfriends. You hear it all the time... So... if you can suck it up and make the smallest effort, chances are she'll be really happy.

Flowers
You could live quite happily for the next 30 years if no one gave you flowers, but to women, it symbolizes beauty, and that you care enough to present her with such a luxury. If you don't give her flowers all the time, then giving her flowers one day for no reason will work like a charm.

Cost: Ten dollars or less at the flower shop or market.

Tip 1: Don't buy ratty flowers at the corner liquor store. Any high end supermarket will feature a display of gorgeous healthy flowers.
Tip 2: Red = Love. Yellow = Friendship. We don't care. We just want flowers.
Tip 3: Baby’s breaths, those small white straw flowers that are typically mixed with roses, tend to cheapen the bouquet. Ask the florist to re-wrap your flowers without them. They'll look more expensive.
Tip 4: Don't forget to remove the price tag.

Astrology
Women have a strange fascination with horoscopes, while most men tend to scoff at astrology. Show her how sensitive you are. Tell her that you looked up her horoscope. Just acknowledging that you bothered to read hers will be flattering to her.

Cost: Five minutes of your time.

Tip 1: You need to know her birth date and year.
Tip 2: Extra points if you looked up your compatibility.
Tip 3: Even more points if you remembered any of it and can quote something relevant.

Kisses
It's one thing to want to grab her and make out with her. But you might not know that there are special places where you can kiss a woman that will turn her into a pool of melted butter. Try to do the following without the intent of sex in the immediate future.
Kiss the back of her neck. Guys never do this enough.Kiss the inside of her wrist. Guys never do this at all. She'll melt. I'm serious. Just try it.

Cost: Nothing.

Tip 1: Use the element of surprise. If she's doing the dishes or reading, sneak up behind her and kiss the back of her neck. Then grab her from behind and give her a hug.
Tip 2: Look at her meaningfully when you kiss the inside of her wrist. You don't have to say anything, but try not to have one eye on the game.

Picnic
Take her out for a picnic. Buy some sandwiches at the deli. Grab a blanket. This is so easy, and she'll love it. Bonus: you get to lie around and eat.

Cost: Lunch money

Tip 1: The same high end market that sold you the flowers will have many tasty selections for you to pack in your picnic hefty bag. We know you don't have a basket. Remember it's the thought that counts. If she's crazy about you, then that's all that will matter.
Tip 2: Cloud watching is fun on a picnic.
Tip 3: Read to each other. (In fake accents).

Post-it Note
Leave her a cute note on a post it that she'll find later.

Cost: 5 seconds of your time will make her feel good all day.

Tip 1: Tell her that you love her. If it's too soon for that, then tell her that you're thinking about her. Tell her that you can't wait to see her later. Tell her that she's gorgeous. Just say something nice.

Hair
Play with her hair. Women love this, and men don't do it enough. Do it absentmindedly, like when you're watching TV.

Cost: Nothing.

Tip 1: You don't need tips for this.

Love Letter
I know... you'd rather have a root canal than have to express how you feel on paper. Things like this might not come naturally to you, which make it all the more valuable if you can do it. So try to write a love letter. This is a stretch, but anything even remotely resembling a love letter will score huge points. To give yourself some perspective, try to imagine how your life would be right now if she didn't exist.

Cost: Anything from 15 minutes and one piece of paper to a week and 500 sheets of crumpled paper scattered all over your floor.

Tip 1: Spell check works wonders.
Tip 2: Don't plagiarize other peoples work. I know it's tempting, but telling her how much you appreciate the quirky little things about her will mean so much more than something you copied out of a poetry book.

Surprise Her
Do something out of character for you. If you always forget to compliment her, then tell her that she's beautiful. If she always cooks, then take a shot at cooking dinner or breakfast for her. It's all about the effort - that's what she'll notice. If you forget to help her with her jacket when you go out, now's your chance. Be chivalrous - be mysterious. She'll love it.

Cost: nothing, really, unless you both get food poisoning.

That's all I have so far, but I guarantee that these little things will make her very happy, and they don't involve much effort on your part.

Happy Dating!

Bad Moves for First Dates

Here are some of the more obvious examples of first date boo-boos:

Showing up late:
A lack of punctuality is a real sign of someone who doesn't have their act together. It's a sign of immaturity, a lack of organizational skills and it's just plain rude. Not exactly the best first impression either.

Not making reservations (if plans were made to go to dinner, a play, etc.):
Ditto the above.

Dressing too casually:
Later on you'll have plenty of opportunity to impress your date with how wild and crazy you can be. The first date is a time to show off with how solid and "nice" you are.

Bragging about yourself too much:
You, you, you, you, you... Don't leave your date wondering halfway through the evening if you're trying to write an autobiography. If you don't ask your date questions about themselves you'll never get to know if you are compatible - and you come off as selfish and self absorbed.

Blowing your nose with your napkin (in a restaurant):
Unless your only other option was the tablecloth for a sneeze that snuck up on you, excuse yourself and go to the restroom or carry a handkerchief.

Ordering a "messy" meal:
First dates are hard enough as it is, why make it harder on yourself. Don't let a messy meal make you look like a slob.

Answering your cell phone during the date:
Unless you're a heart surgeon on call, all you're doing is showing your date just how unimportant they are.

Excessive Primping:
Avoid applying makeup at the table or spending too much time looking in the mirror and not enough time looking at your date.

Not having enough cash:
There's nothing wrong with being a little short on cash, but there's something really wrong about someone when you can't plan ahead. Think about how deep the water is before you jump off the bridge.

Talking about past lovers:
Whether you're complaining about an ex or waxing poetic, saying anything at all sounds like you're still hung-up on them. Plus, it's a good indication of what you might say about your date if things don't work out.

Six Sure-Fire Steps to Become a Love Magnet

Want to become a love magnet?
Want to attract true love or improve your relationship?

Good, because you deserve to be loved! And, lucky you, I will show you how to attract that love by working on the person you see when you look in the mirror.

That's right. Although you're seeking love from another person, you will be more likely to get the love and attention you deserve by first growing within.

Here are the six steps you need to take to help you grow in just the right way। These steps will groom you to attract and engender love.

1. Figure out your relationship patternIf you are not attracting the right partners or not getting enough love in your relationship, it's probably not the first time in your life. If that's the case, then it's likely you have relationship patterns that are preventing you from attracting the right partner or preventing you from behaving in a way that causes love.

2. Let go of your pastMost people collect unpleasantness without realizing it. Every time something unpleasant happens to you, it goes into a huge sack of other unpleasantness weighing heavily on your back. You can't move forward in life, and especially in relationships, with this baggage. You can't move forward emotionally any better than if you had a real sack weighing 100 pounds on your back. Even if you don't feel the weight most of the time -- you will feel it in relationships. It feels like excessive anger, excessive need to control others, reactiveness, fear and anxiety. Want to drop this weight? Learn to let go of the unpleasantness in your life and in your past, and I mean really let go.

3. Delve into your needsEveryone has needs -- that's a part of human nature. In fact, our needs facilitate relationships. The giver and the receiver both feel better and more connected when each other's needs are voiced and met. Yet most of us are uncomfortable asking others to meet our needs. At the same time, we all enter relationships to get our needs met. See the paradox? Figure out your needs, figure out which ones need to be met by your partner and which ones need to be met by other people. Get them met!

4. Draw your boundariesBoundaries are there to protect you, and to help you honor your needs and wants, not your "shoulds." You have boundaries when you can choose to say yes or no to something, someone or a situation. You have boundaries when you can stop a situation that is hurting you. You have boundaries when you know your needs and ask others to respect them. Having boundaries makes you discerning, gives you self-respect, and inspires other people to both respect you and treat you well.

5. Know what you wantKnow what you want in a partner and in a relationship. Be careful that what you want is not a fantasy, unrealistic standards of perfection, or a set of low expectations. Look at the relationships you value most and model your love relationship after those. Keep out people who are not a match, invite in those who are. Stop doing behaviors that sabotage what you want in your relationship and instead take action to create what you want.

6। Get connectedBuild a community. Get people into your life to meet your needs, to support you, to nourish you. Many people want to simply find "the one" or hope they have found "the one", and then proceed to isolate themselves. What a stress on a relationship! Can you put all of your needs, wants, desires, and interests on one person? Do you think all of your needs will somehow be met by one Prince or Princess Charming? We are all social animals in need of community. We have way too many needs for one person to meet them all. Get connected, and stay connected.

- by Rinatta Paries

The Intro...

Hey mi gente...

I would like to thank you for taking the time to take a look at Mi Mundo (My World). As you can see I am a Latino, born in New York and raised in Puerto Rico. I am a very complex Latin male, nothing like the stereo typical Latin male that everyone expects to see. I'm really down to earth & I like to have a good time.

My main reason for starting this blog is to share the things that I like with people. I believe that we all have something to say. Therefore, there is someone out there is looking for what you have to say for either their inspiration and/or support.

We are all very unique individuals. Walking different paths and living different lives. If we were slow down enough to take a look at what is going on around us, we can see that we share many things in common.

I pray that what I post here helps you with whatever you are going through or need to go through. Don't be afraid to live just take it one day at a time.